Saturday, April 10, 2010


OK, I was totally lying in the previous post. There are totally some songs from which I derive a sick, morbid pleasure, and about which I feel almost (but not quite) as guilty as I probably should. I tend to collect such treasures and play them to my wife when she's least-prepared for it, as a form of aural torment.

Here are a few of the best/worst examples. If you can make it to the end of any of them, you will emerge as a Changed Person, able to see the world in new and surprising ways. And nothing will ever be able to hurt you again.

Shockingly-poor Death Metal band Six Feet Under have an ongoing side-project, which I like to call Making Good Songs Suck. They've been at it since...ooh, ages ago. Seriously, they're awful. Hilariously, wonderfully awful.

Next, the music of Alan Partridge's dreams. This kid is clearly far, far too into his sister. Apparently she's sixteen, too, which I suspect makes me some sort of Pervert In The Mind. Also, having looked around online, I'm 99% sure that this is not a piss-take. Real people actually made this music, and they thought it Good. Think on that for a while.

And finally, the greatest Bad MIDI File ever produced. Ignore the waffle at the beginning of the video - in fact, ignore the video entirely, just close your eyes and bask in the horror - wait until the swannee-whistle noises begin. Seriously, stick with this. If you're not in tears of pain and/or laughter by the end, then there is something seriously fucking wrong with you.


Siri said...

Dear Lord, that kid is the spitting image of Alan Partridge! Uncanny! And is sister has the same vocal range as he does, if not lower. That's hilarious too!

Pål Hellesnes said...

I feel slightly violated now.
The Six Feet Under one is really hilariously awful. Impressively awful, actually.

Mark Patterson said...

Six Feet Under are amazing. Their version of 'Rock & Roll (Ain't Noise Pollution)' will bring a tear to your eye. It's far, far worse than the one I posted, actually, but I couldn't quite bring myself to inflict it upon the world.

Next time you're round at ours, though, there's a fair-to-middling chance that you'll be subjected to nothing else.